I smell stomach acid.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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