i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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