I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
