I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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