i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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