I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
