Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
