After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
