nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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