I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
