Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
