im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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