Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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