you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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