oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
