So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
