im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
