it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
