apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The struggles of a small town man whore
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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