Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
