oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
