I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The ass gains better be worth it
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