Nicole vs. Life
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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