somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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