i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
