absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
