I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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