I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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