Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
