I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
two words: eviction party
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
