Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
