This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
