not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
