I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
