I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
