Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
