Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
