nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
now i know why i became what i already was.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
