Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
