To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
