so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
