So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
