I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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