My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize