So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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