Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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