your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
