We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
