they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
