mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
