I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
