i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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