Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
