You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
