I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
