gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
