Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
