You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
wow bdsm is so cute
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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