so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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