D3 body, D1 cock
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
