Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it hurts more in the daytime
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
